Yesterday was my neighbor's birthday. He turned 11. My downstairs neighbors and friends decided to have him and his two brothers over. He had previously been a bit down in the dumps, not only because in general he feels that no one around him really cares about him, but that he was pretty certain that no one who had the ability (or even the responsibility) to do anything, would do anything for him on this special day.
I remember when I was 11. I remember when I was younger and my birthday meant a lot to me. I can't even fathom what it must feel like to want to be very excited about your birthday and have to protect yourself against the hurt because no one cares. I'm glad that my downstairs neighbors are as wonderful as they are to take him in, give him cupcakes and even presents. I think the couple hours he was allowed to play video games would have been enough for him. I'm so very glad he got his day.
Happy Birthday Marcus. You rule. In the face of every obstacle that is put in your way in this life of yours, you have already perservered.
Marcus is a young child from a common but sad background. His mother is the mother of several (six) children of perhaps just as many fathers. She is on welfare and works most of the time. Grandma comes by and helps out, whatever that means. The oldest daughter, though she is not in the house herself, often leaves her own son of 1 year, to be taken care of either by mom, grandma or in most cases the two oldest boys - Marcus being one of these. She once left her son at the house for over three weeks, the story I heard was that she was out, partying or some other thing, something that perhaps an 18 year old should be doing. Then there's the mom's little one. She's about the same age as her oldest daughter's son. From there are an 8 year old, Marcus, a 14 year old and the oldest sister in the house whom I'm guessing is around 16.
The boys take care of each other and the babies for the most part. The Grandma and mom do their part of yelling, bossing and generally abusing the boys in what I'm assuming they believe is "caring" for or "raising" the children.
One time Marcus said to me, "That's cool you guys get to take care of dogs. We have to take care of babies."
In general they are very good boys. Boys that have lacked a stable home. I heard recently that when you are in a disfunctional home, you don't realize that it is disfunctional. But what happens when you do realize?
My only hope is that these boys continue to perservere and come out of it mostly unscathed. That they find their place in this world and that it is not in a gang behind a glock.
